Money felt scarce and anxious in the house I grew up in. I learned early that money was something to worry about, and that the easiest thing to do with worry was not look at it.That habit followed me for years. Avoid the statement. Avoid the math. Avoid sitting down to see where things actually stood. It felt easier, but avoiding it only made me less certain, and less certain made me more anxious.
I started my career in the New Jersey courts at $12,000 a year, with more student debt than salary. Over time I worked my way up to a good, steady income. Then my family needed me home, so I left that paycheck for commission work in real estate. I was afraid I wouldn’t have enough, and afraid I’d never get back to where I’d been. But I was more certain that my family came first than I was of anything else. I had to place my faith somewhere, and I chose to place it there.
That was thirty years ago, and I’ve made a commission living work ever since. Still, the old story shows up. I call it bag lady syndrome, that quiet sense the bottom could fall out any minute. When it takes over, I stop looking at what I have and how to use it, and I start scrambling to make more.
What helps most is simple. I thank money when it comes in, and I thank it when it goes out, even when I’d rather not be spending it. That small habit has changed how money feels to me. It feels less like something to guard and more like a tool that helps me. Money is meant to flow, and when I treat it that way, it stops feeling stuck.
I see the same pattern with the people I coach. Someone wants to change careers, start a business, or rebuild after the kids leave home, and the first question is some version of “Can I afford this?” It’s a fair question. It’s usually tangled up with an older story too.
So I’m hosting a 90-minute workshop called Can I Afford to Change? on Thursday, November 19, from 6:30 to 8:00 PM, at 403 Hooper Ave in Toms River.
Who it’s for
Anyone facing a change: a new career, a new business, an empty nest, retirement, or a fresh start. If old money stories are shaping your choices or showing up as tension with a partner, this is for you. You don’t need to be good with numbers. You just need to be curious.
What you’ll walk away with
- A clear look at where your money beliefs came from, starting with your earliest money memory, and whose voice you still hear when you think about change.
- A name for what you do when money feels uncertain, whether that’s avoiding it, over-controlling it, freezing, or handing it off, and a way to look at that pattern without shame.
- One small system you choose yourself that would lower your money fear by ten percent, and a plan to start it this week.
The group is small, so there’s room to talk, and nobody will ask for your bank balance. This is coaching, built for people ready for a practical next step with money.
The details
The cost is $49, or $39 if you register by November 1 or were referred by a partner practice. You can pay by Venmo or at the door.
If this sounds like something you’ve been needing, I’d love to have you in the room. You can save your seat here:
And if you’re not sure it’s a fit, call or text me at 609-290-7686 and we’ll talk it through.
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